Importance of Family (Part 1)

Family-01

Importance of Family

With the unexpected passing away of my brother on December 13, 2012, I made a commitment to do all I can to end the years of family segregating that has inflicted almost all of us for generations. I do love my birth family, my extended family, and my friends: This is why I am risking these articles.

Part 1: Selfishness and Resentments

In the course of my 56+ years on this rock we all call home, I have seen where family is very important and should be valued and cared for with all efforts possible. No matter the personal feelings there are at least six life events where selfish grudges of resentment need to be fully set aside where family is concerned.

A.  Births

B.  Baptisms.

C.  Graduations.

D.  Weddings.

E.   Major Illness

F.   Funerals.

Hugs, Guy

Disclaimer:

I do love my birth family and my extended family. I value each person on their own standings: Individually by family birthright or inclusion by marriage. I do not believe that I know everything there is about the importance of family dynamics. I have made many mistakes in the area of life relationships and I will make many more mistakes by the time my life passes away.

  • Some of my family will take exception to this writing and others will do a self-evaluation for the betterment of all.
  • Some of my friends will take exception to this writing and others will do a self-evaluation for the betterment of their remaining lives.
  • Which path each chooses is between them and their concept of God.

Background:

I grew up in a transitory family and yes I too segregated myself from the others for over 32 years by personal choice. I have no one to blame for that save myself.

We, the family, moved around a lot. We all took different paths as adults. Closeness was not a word we knew as children when the seeds of segregation were planted. Pretending to value a Christ directed life (provided it supported inbreed “EGO” self-centeredness). Yet without being specifically instructed; all 6 siblings learned well (in our own ways) the deepest poisoning of resentment – using this word as our unknown core motto for justifying segregation from each other as life turned into years: Turned into decades.  Resentments are held as the deepest of traditions and worthy of full obedience.

“What Builds Resentments?”

1)   False Pride

2)   Perceived Rights Violated

3)   Inflated Value of Self Importance

4)   Arrogant Self Piety

5)   Not Obtaining Wants (Physical, Financial, Emotional, Spiritual, or Intellectual)

6)   Prejudgments

7)   EGO

“Selfishness Is A Form Of Generational Resentment That Festers As A Malignant Cancer Within The Heart If Left Untreated.”

There are many thousand vile resentments which I could write about to the disgrace of each and every member of the infected extended family. However, I will only state the following four as examples.

Example 1: There was a time in my youth where the patriarch did not get the deal he desired from Sears Roebuck Company, and vowed publicly to never shop there again for the rest of his life. I do not know if he kept this vow after I left home in March of 1974, but the memory of the toxic resentment voiced remains in me today. The children learned well this lesson.

Example 2: Something happen early in life, perhaps before my birth, that the matriarch of the family still holds as gold in her memories of early marriage: Bringing up often to justify withholding valued affirmations of honest love. She had wanted one specific material item of worldly ease and the patriarch brought home yet a different item of material worldly ease instead. The memory of this toxic resentment voiced over and over remains in me today. The children learned well this lesson.

Example 3: In July 2006, in an effort to turn the tide of this segregation, one sibling refuses’ to accept and acknowledge that another sibling never clearly heard him voice a desire to materially fund a meal for the partially combined family reunion; thereby chocking a hold onto a resentment to justify his childish behavior demonstrated to an innocent waitress at the time of the meal and not talk to or forgive the hard of hearing sibling that never understood the request spoken to a third person in the first place – never accepting the other siblings amends for not hearing or understanding the once spoken desire. Yes toxic resentments remain today: The children learned well.

Example 4: There is one set of pious sibling parents who resents their own son and will not talk to the son because a final will and testament left control of an estate to the grandson and not to them: More material selfish resentment. Yes the children learned very well.

“Selfishness Is A Personal Choice.”

EGO is selfishness. EGO is “Edging God Out” of our lives, thoughts, actions, and desires. EGO does more harm than good to others and ourselves. EGO must be limited as much as humanly possible.

Being a personal choice; selfishness can be both good and bad in this life depending on the core foundation of such an action. However, if the results of selfish actions ever harm another person, in the long term of life, then it falls firmly into the bad and must be avoided at all cost.

I encourage all family members (and friends who read this) to do an honest self-appraisal and see where any of your personal choices of selfishness has ever caused harm to anyone. No one is exempt from selfishness so, therefore, we all have our faults in this area of life and we all owe great amends to others. We are not arrogantly perfect!

Any person who does not believe that their selfish choices have ever done harm to another person is arrogant without exception.

“Some Character Signs Of Selfish Resentment.”

a)   Envy

b)   Jealous

c)   Conceited

d)   Egotistic

e)   Narcissi

f)    Pompous

g)   Self-absorbed

h)   Indignation

i)     Bitterness

j)    Cynicism

k)   Rage/Anger/Hostility (Passive or Aggressive)

l)     Malice

m) Bitterness

“Final Thought”

How important is selfish resentments really?

Guy Lewis, Payson, Arizona, December 26, 2012

 

Look for:

Part 2 “Forgiveness Is A Personal Choice.”

Part 3 “Love Is A Personal Choice.”

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Merry Christmas Everyone that Reads this Blog

Merry Christmas Everyone: It is a beautiful day to be alive.  Just woke up from a much needed long sleep. Anxiety is a strange thing. My blood pressure was as high as 198 over 118 with a pulse rate of 98 last night but now it is back into a very normal range. 140 over 90 with a pulse rate of 73. Thank you to the two special angels that stayed with me and talk my anxiety into calmness. Special hugs to you both and hugs always to everyone. Guy

R.I.P. Harold Paul Lewis III “AKA Hal”

HAL-002a

It is a privilege and great honor to be the person asked by the family to eulogize my dear friend and brother who passed away on December 13, 2012 at the age of 59; 7 days before his 60th birthday.

Harold (Hal) was born December 20, 1952 in Nashville, Tennessee to Harold Paul Lewis Jr. and Loretta Jane Green. He attended and graduated from Villa Park High School. He was a loving faithful providing husband and supportive father of a beautiful daughter. He had many occupations including, Sunkist packing, food services, volunteer fire-fighter, licensed practical nurse, registered nurse, and decorated veteran of the U. S. Army Medical Corp. Hal lived his life dedicated to helping people.

Hal was preceded in death by the passing of his brother Timothy.

Hal is survived by: Wife Dianne Atkinson and Daughter Jennifer of Fullerton, California, Parents Harold Lewis and Loretta Green Lewis of Salem, Indiana, Brothers David Lewis of Apache Junction, Arizona, Guy Lewis of Payson, Arizona, Daniel Lewis of California, Christopher Lewis of Manitowoc, Wisconsin, Sister Paula Lewis Herdt of Salem, Indiana, many cousins, nieces and nephews and his beloved cat’s: Scooby, Chomper, and Ashley.

***

Hal was my friend, my brother: Right now, I’m am 100% sure that Hal is in a better place.

You see, even though we each basically took different paths in life, I was blessed with watching Hal take the courage to face life, going against our dad’s wishes for his eldest son by choosing to make a difference in the lives of others instead of seeking the material riches of corporate America; choosing the care giving path.

In so many ways Hal was more than a brother; somewhere along the way, true trust grew and two individuals learned to help each other grow and face life. In 1974, with me, still wet behind the ears; Hal was the person to console me at the ending of my High School relationship – informing me that life goes on and “this too shall pass.”

During the last 10 years of my drinking and drugging career, Hal was one of the few people that did not give up on me; encouraging and supporting my efforts to escape a chemical hell. Hal’s tireless support was rewarded on January 28, 1990.

In January of 2006, when facing my first ever major surgery: Tumor gripping the lower aorta, Hal again was a big encouragement, by helping me face reality with grace and courage. Hal helped me learn to face my fears. Hal knew that this retired cop was scared to death at the possible surgery. Like a true friend, Hal comforted me with words of hope and courage: Letting me know that God would be with me in the surgery and that I would be ok. Hal would tell me that I would live through the dangerous surgery because God was not done with me here on earth.

Twice, October and November 2012, Hal cared so much for me that he personally contacted the Arizona Heart Hospital, to ensure I was in the best of care following my major heart attack. He cared so much that he sent the operating staff and the ICU staff a wonderful fruit basket and a personal thank you card for their efforts to save my life.

I know that Hal’s passing is hard on his wife and daughter, sister, brother’s and parents. I know in my heart he is with us. I know how much he loved you, me, others, and life.

Hal was the kind of friend that stood by you no matter what. He was the kind of friend that did not direct you but walked with you through life’s ups and downs. He was the kind of friend that lived his integrity by doing his very best to always do what he committed to do. He was the kind of friend that made the best brother ever.

Hal will always be with us, and his legacy will continue through his wife, daughter, friends, and family, in our memories. Hal would smile if he were here with us today. He would have some funny story to tell to make everyone comfortable, and we would, for a moment, forget our sadness. I will miss my brother and my friend dearly, but I am also grateful for having known him.

There will never be another Hal.

I know that he is safe from harm, free from the physical illnesses or pain, and I know that he is not afraid.

Hal loved us all and we all loved him.

***

As a brother and friend of Harold Paul Lewis III, it is my hope that this poem will inspire all of us and that its effect will linger a very long time, or better yet, forever, in our hearts!

I hope to make the dash of Hal’s life: Something worth remembering.

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke of the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth

And now only those who love her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars…the house…the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile…

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

By Linda Ellis, 1996

Hebrews 10:25a

Daily TogetherHebrews 10:25a

By Guy Lewis, Sunday, December 09, 2012, Payson, Arizona

I will venture to share that what the writer of Hebrews is referring to is not what “most” believers believe to be true and supportive of accepted church traditions.

The commonly heard explanation is “Formal Worship Assembling” but is this really what is being talked about or is it, by focusing on this small part of the context, simply justification to sidestep the rest of the text?

The context of verse 25a starts in verse 19 as a follow-up to verses 1 through 18; that Jesus is better than the religious traditions of the past: Physical Religious Worship doesn’t Save whereas Spiritual Worship in the knowledge of Christ Jesus Saves. The text in question then follows this thought with a “Therefore.”

Starting with verse 19 and following to verse 31, with full consideration to what was already stated in verses 1 to 19, there appears to be a fuller and deeper meaning of verse 25a then only a Formal Sunday Worship Assembly.

The Text:

“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” (Hebrews 10:19-31 ESV)

In this text, when taken as a whole, there is so much more value to daily living or lifestyle then there is to only once week worship.

Breaking it down (Because of Verses 1 -18):

V19 – 22    “Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.”

Because of the blood of Jesus on the cross, believers have confidence, to directly approach God “anytime” without any go between “human” people involved. Jesus is all true believers spiritual “High Priest” so they can personally go before God in assurance that their concerns will be heard if the believer has been honestly baptized gaining full forgiveness of sin no longer requiring a continual forgiveness of sin petition. The Hebrew writer directly ties true belief in Jesus a being the Christ; Son of the Living God and forgiveness of wrongs (sins) to the demonstration of belief in full water baptism by true believers.

The Guarantee:

V23 –         “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”

The next verse shows clearly that the one-time “total” forgiveness of wrongs, after baptism, can be “lost” and is a guarantee to all believers to stay true to their confession the Jesus is the Christ; Son of the Living God because God Himself is faithful to His word.

The Reason:

V24 – 25   “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

The writer then clarifies that maintaining the confession of faith made at baptism in verses 24 and 25 is being compassionate, supportive, inspiring, and encouraging of other believers, to remain faithful to God through Jesus, to do good things for others, and most importantly to love others, until the day Jesus returns when final judgment is proclaimed to all. There is absolutely no indication in this text of meaning “just” a weekly assembling of believers in a formal worship; although that would surely be included in a lifestyle of belief. The evidence of the entire text demonstrates a daily life, not a tradition, of meeting with other believers often or on a daily basis to fulfill the directive to love and encourage.

The Warning:

V26 – 31    “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

The writer of Hebrews ends this section of the text with a warning as to what will happen to those people that do not heed the direction to support, encourage, inspire, and love others. The writer ties “lacking to love in the ways mentioned as part of daily life” as being “premeditated sin” and draws the reader back to verse 18 as a reminder that any continual to sin voids the once for all payment Jesus made on the cross. Continuing, the writer offers clarifying statements that sinning in this way before God will result in a painful sentence to everlasting destruction (hell) completely and forever separated from God at the time of final judgment because neglecting to love others in the manner directed is the same as disregarding the “Great Love” payment Jesus made on the cross with His life, thereby, making angry the Spirit of God Himself.

Some of the Supporting Text:

Matt 25: 31 – 46

Acts 1:14

Acts 2:37 – 47

Rom 6:3 – 4

Rom 12:1 -2

1 Pet 1:22 – 23

1 Pet 3:21 – 22

1 Pet 4:7 – 9

1st John

 

Listen Silent

Recent events have opened my heart to the simple fact that life is shorter than the mind perceives.

Things that inspired thoughts of grandeur in youth vaporized into the reality of adulthood.  The wasted annual hours of hassle of get have evolved into “How important is it really?”

Simplicity is healthier then grandiosity.

So to each person that reads my posts, I beg to take this moment to express that I am blessed with you being a part of life: Even momentarily; knowing that we have touched each other on some level and hopefully are now better for the time spent together.

Thank you and hugs always,

Guy