Help Request

Does any one know of a PTSD Support Group for family members and sufferers’ in or near Payson Arizona? If so can you let me know as soon as possible please!

NOT By Choice

Deceitful Excuses

My so-called “religious” friends can’t find away around their busy lives to take a risk and be a real friend to me without judgement and fault-finding: So lets see if they will honestly answer this question.

“Why Do People In General – But Especially Family And Friends – Give Deceitful Excuses – Instead Of An Honest Amends – For Their Unacceptable Behavior And Yet Expect Everything To Be Hunky Dory Along The Road Of Happy Destiny?”

The definition of DECEIT is to: Have a tendency or disposition to lie: Not being honest: To be misleading

• The synonyms of DECEIT are: Crooked, Fraudulent, Defrauding, Dishonest, Double-dealing, False

The definition of EXCUSE the verb is to: try and remove personal blame for wrong doing: To disregard as trivial that which is important: To justify that which is undesirable or offensive

The definition of EXCUSE the noun is to: Offer justification: Feeble Expression For failing to do something: The absence of truth

• The synonyms of EXCUSE are: Condone, Discount, Disregard, Gloze (Over), Ignore, Overlook, Shrug Off, Whitewash

The definition of HONEST is to: Be Free from fraud or deception: To be Genuine: To be Humble: To be Reputable: To be Respectable: To be Good: To Display integrity

• The synonyms of HONEST are: Truthful, Veracious, Upright

The definition of AMENDS is to: Make right: Correct: Repair injury: To change or modify for the better: To alter formally

• The synonyms of AMENDS are: Ameliorate, Improve, Better, Enhance, Enrich, Help, Meliorate, Perfect, Refine, Upgrade

Sounds and looks like hypocrisy to me!

Guy

Payson AZ Aug 11, 2011

Understanding Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

I suffer from Complex PTSD and to help others and me who suffer this condition, it is important that friends and family understand just what PTSD is and how it affects people suffering with this condition as well as the type of support needed to help.

What Is PTSD?

PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD is an anxiety disorder that can develop after an individual has experienced or witnessed a major trauma.

There are many different types of symptoms that someone can have after a trauma, but PTSD symptoms fall into 3 categories:

1. Reliving or re-experiencing the trauma
2. Attempts to avoid thoughts, situations, or people that are reminders of the trauma
3. Increased anxiety or arousal, including being constantly on guard for danger, and being easily startled

What Kind Of Trauma Leads To PTSD?

There is no one type of trauma that can lead to PTSD. Rather, there are several different kinds of traumatic situations that can do this, all of which have certain common elements:

1. The trauma was life threatening
2. The trauma leads to an actual or potentially serious injury
3. The individual reacted to the trauma with intense fear, helplessness, or horror

You can develop PTSD if you have been directly involved in a serious traumatic event, or if you witnessed a traumatic event. Some common traumas that can lead to PTSD include:

• Being in, or seeing, a serious car accident
• Being sexually assaulted/raped
• Experiencing long-term sexual, emotional, or physical abuse
• Undergoing major surgery (bone marrow transplant, extensive hospitalization, severe burns)
• Experiencing or witnessing natural disasters (earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, fire)
• Experiencing torture of any form
• Experiencing a terrorist attack, or being a prisoner of war
• Experiencing or witnessing a violent crime (kidnapping, physical assault, assault or murder of a loved one)
• Being involved in the field of law enforcement or criminal investigations
• Being involved in a war or military combat
• Witnessing violence or death of a loved one or by a loved one

Symptoms Of PTSD

In order to receive a diagnosis of PTSD, you need to be currently experiencing at least one symptom from each of the following three categories.

Physical Symptoms

• Headaches
• Stomach problems
• Changes in breathing patterns (i.e. shortness of breath)
• Lack of energy OR
• Sometimes being very active and over-energetic
• Sleep problems
• Feeling of emotional pain that you have never felt before
• Anxiety problems
• Hypersensitivity
• Hypervigilance (always on alert)

Psychological Symptoms

• Mood swings
• Memory problems
• Addiction/Self Medication
• Loss of personal hygiene/housekeeping
• Risk taking behavior
• Isolation
• Depression (thinking “what’s the point”)
• Paranoid thoughts

Signs And Symptoms Of PTSD Explained In Detail:

Sleep Problems:

• Insomnia (not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep)
• Having nightmares
• Waking up covered in sweat
• Kicking during sleep
• Constantly waking up and falling back asleep, possibly due to bad dreams
• Waking up and being easily startled and/or being confused about where you are
• Irregular sleep cycles. Often these symptoms will lead an individual to avoid sleeping as much as possible or turn to alcohol or other drugs to try and self medicate the problem.

Isolation:

It is important to remember that self-isolation or society imposed isolation is one of the worst treatments for a person that suffers PTSD.

• Early Stages: The individual will begin to slowly start cutting him/her self off from society. These symptoms can be shown by a lack of wanting to go out to social places that they used to find enjoyable. The individual may not show an interest in meeting new people or feels uncomfortable or alert if placed in a situation with a large crowd of unknown people. They might begin eating meals alone or may become workaholics, throwing themselves into materialistic things rather than people. At this stage, the person usually begins to sever many social ties, only leaving those close members of family or closest friends who he/she trusts and feels enough comfort around to allow the relationship to last. Human interaction is an important part of emotional growth and recovery. Without it, the soldier will continue on a downward spiral.
• Later Stages: Usually by this time the person is nearly crippled by other symptoms and often can be misdiagnosed as being depressed. By this stage the person has most likely completely cut him or herself off from society including friends and family and will most likely surround themselves only with materialistic things. They usually will only go out on a required basis (to get food or medication). Often, to reach this level of isolation, the person is in a severe, deep stage of PTSD and needs immediate medical attention. Without it, things will only get worse if left untreated.

Hypersensitivity:

• Hypersensitivity and anxiety usually go hand-in-hand. The most common symptoms are sensitivity to bright light, loud noises, large crowds, unfamiliar places and/or being easily startled.
• At first these symptoms may appear to be slight or almost unnoticeable, but a soldier will be able to begin to feel an increase in an anxiety levels and discomfort when exposed to some of these elements.
• Over time, and without treatment, symptoms can get worse. In several cases, those who suffer from PTSD and have not sought proper help can suffer severe anxiety attacks (panic attacks) and often complain of migraine headaches if they are triggered by one of these symptoms.

Memory Problems:

• Memory problems are probably the most commonly shared symptoms of PTSD sufferers. As first, memory problems may be somewhat hard to diagnose, but often it is a progressive symptom and will get worse as time passes without proper treatment.

• Early Stages: The first stages of memory problems might show up as absent-mindedness. Easily forgetting things like important dates, appointments, names of new people that you meet, are some examples as well as constantly misplacing or losing things. If the returned soldier never had problems in any of these areas before he/she deployed, it is important to keep a watchful eye on them. Without proper care, memory problems can become progressive and debilitating.

• Later Stages: By this time, the returned veteran is most likely showing many other symptoms of PTSD. Late stages of memory problems will be very obvious. The person most likely will forget things on a day-to-day basis. They might even have trouble remembering things from the past. Sometimes the returned soldier may be in the middle of a sentence and pause and forget what they were talking about. Or, they might tell you something and minutes later; tell you the exact same thing because they forget they have already said it in the first place. Another thing to be aware of is that our military is trained to adapt and to keep functioning. In many cases, if a returned soldier begins to realize they are having problems with memory and they are unaware that it might be PTSD or they are resistant to getting help, they might purchase note pads, post-it notes, or dry erase boards to try to compensate for their memory loss.
• When this level of memory challenges has been reached people with intense PTSD often compare it to feeling like their memories have been put into a blender and pulled out. It leaves a feeling like everything is mixed up. It can also feel as if some of the memories were left out of the blender, evidenced when we draw a blank trying to recall certain events: Leaving holes of missing information.

Mood Swings and Risky Behavior:

• These are both common symptoms of PTSD and can be interrelated. Mood swings are very apparent and easy to notice. Usually, when it comes to a PTSD suffers, and they begin to experience problems with mood swings, it will almost always appear as aggressive or violent.
• Mood swings can often appear to be mild temper tantrums, or irritability towards others, but can often get worse. The best way to describe why a soldier might deploy appearing “normal” and return from deployment showing any of these traits is described below.
• Violence, aggression and/or risk-taking behavior is part of “everyday life” when a soldier is in a war zone because they are risking their life everyday for their country. So that behavior becomes “normal”. If there isn’t someone to show the soldier that the violence, aggression and risk-taking are “normal” for the war zone, but “extreme” when coming home, then they often don’t know the difference.

Addiction/Self Medication:

• This is one of the most important symptoms to watch out for, and the most dangerous. If it is not caught early enough, or if the suffer is misdiagnosed, they can be sent down a dangerous and painful path of drug or alcohol abuse.

Personal Hygiene/housekeeping:

• This is another important symptom that is common among PTSD sufferers. It is progressive and the person can easily be diagnosed with Depression when it is really a symptom of PTSD.
• Early Stages: The individual will begin to show signs of not maintaining a clean appearance, such as combing hair, shaving on a regular basis or wearing clean clothes. They might also begin to stop picking up after themselves on a regular basis and/or not keeping a clean and organized home.
• Later Stages: By this time the individual most likely has no regard for their own appearance and most likely doesn’t shower or bathe on a regular basis. They probably can hardly clean up anything after themselves due to the fact that by this stage, even small, simple tasks seem almost overwhelming. If the suffer has reached this level of illness, then immediate medical attention should be sought. By this stage, if there is no one to care for the suffer, and then it becomes dangerous because they are struggling to even make it day to day.

Symptoms of reliving or “re-experiencing” the trauma

• Upsetting memories about the event. This usually involves having vivid images about the trauma come up again and again even when you do not want to have them. For example, if you were physically attacked, you might keep remembering your attacker’s face. Or, if you were in a car accident, you might have strong memories about the sound of the crash or a vivid picture of blood all over yourself or someone else involved.
• Nightmares about the trauma. People with PTSD will often have very vivid nightmares of either the trauma or themes surrounding the trauma. For example, if you were in a car accident, you might have frequent nightmares about being in the accident yourself, or about other people being involved in accidents. Some people with PTSD who were assaulted will have nightmares of being chased, and the person chasing them in the dream might not be the person who assaulted them.
• Acting as if the trauma were happening again (“reliving the trauma”). This is also called “dissociation”, where an individual loses touch with the present, and feels as if they are living through the trauma again. Some people with this symptom might speak and act as if they are physically in the traumatic situation, whereas others might appear to simply stare off into space for a period of time. Some people with PTSD will also have “flashbacks”, which are very vivid images of the trauma they experienced. Flashbacks can seem very real, and some people describe it as a picture or movie that they can see clearly in their minds.
• Anxiety or distress when reminded of the trauma. Some people with PTSD become extremely upset or feel very anxious whenever they are confronted with a person, place, situation, or conversation that reminds them of the trauma. This can include becoming very upset when hearing tires squeal if you were in a car accident, or feeling anxious when watching violence on TV if you were assaulted.

Symptoms of avoidance

• Avoiding (conscience or unconscious) reminders of the trauma. Many people with PTSD will try very hard to avoid anything that is associated with, or reminds them of, the traumatic event they experienced. Reminders can include:

• Circumstances (e.g., the actual date of the event, clothes worn, place where the event occurred, etc.)
• Things associated with the trauma (e.g. being in a car if the trauma was a car accident)
• General signs of danger (e.g. TV shows about violence, news programs, police or fire department sirens, fire alarms, etc.)

• Avoiding (conscience or unconscious) thoughts, feelings, or memories related to the trauma. Although many people with PTSD will avoid any reminders of their traumatic experience, it is also common for people to avoid even thinking about what happened. For example, you might avoid talking to anyone about the trauma, and if you have thoughts or memories about what happened, you might try to push them out of your head.
• Not able to recall (conscience or unconscious) parts of the trauma. It is not uncommon for people who have lived through a trauma to have difficulty-remembering parts of it, or the entire trauma, or to be confused about the timeline of events.
• Reduced interest in previously enjoyed activities. For example, after a trauma, you might stop wanting to spend time with friends and family, or you might stop all activities that you used to enjoy (such as sports or hobbies).
• Feeling detached/estranged from others. People with this symptom describe feeling cut off from others, even though they might have family and/or friends around them.
• Feeling numb/unable to experience feelings. Some people with PTSD will say that they generally feel numb, and don’t experience loving feelings anymore (such as love, joy, or happiness). People with this symptom might have a hard time even describing how they feel, and are not able to recognize when they are happy, sad, or angry.
• Feeling of foreshortened future. It is not uncommon for people with PTSD to say that they have a feeling of “impending doom”; that is, they say that they don’t expect to live long, that something bad is likely to happen again soon, or that they feel hopeless about the future.

Symptoms of increased anxiety or “hyperarousal”

• Sleep difficulties. Some people with PTSD will have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. This often happens when you feel quite anxious throughout the day.
• Anger outbursts or irritability. It is not uncommon for people with PTSD to feel more irritable and angry. If you have this symptom, you might find yourself snapping at people, or getting extremely angry in a situation that reminds you of your trauma. For example, if you were in a car accident, and while driving someone cuts you off, you might get very angry and even yell or act inappropriately.
• Concentration difficulties. Many people with PTSD report that they have a hard time paying attention or concentrating while completing daily tasks. This is often the result of being very anxious; it is not a sign that there is something wrong with your memory.
• Hypervigilance. Often, people with PTSD feel as if they are “on guard” or “on alert” all the time. People with this symptom will be very easily startled, and will jump at the slightest sound (for example, the telephone ringing, someone tapping you on the shoulder).
• Memory Lapse. A person who suffers from intense PTSD will often have difficulties remembering important detail or entire post trauma events. These episodes are known as “black outs” or unconscious fugues.
• Tip. It is normal to feel more anxious right after a trauma. But over time, these anxious feelings will settle down. Remember: not everyone who lives through a trauma will develop PTSD. But if your symptoms have been present for over one month, and you find that they are interfering significantly in your life, then you might have PTSD.

How To Recognize PTSD?

• Many adults with PTSD have strong feelings of shame, guilt, or despair about what happened. It is also not uncommon to have increased feelings of hostility or anger; this is sometimes directed towards entire groups of people (for example, you might find yourself being very angry and suspicious of men if you were raped, or you might get extremely angry at drivers who speed if you were in a serious car accident).
• Because living through trauma is such a life-changing experience, some people with PTSD find that their relationships with others are different after a trauma. For instance, they might have difficulty trusting other people and/or they might have sexual or intimacy problems.

PTSD: The Facts

1. Several studies have shown that a majority of people will likely experience at least one traumatic event in their lives; but many of them will NOT develop PTSD.
2. The chance of developing PTSD goes up if the trauma was very severe, chronic (that is, lasted a long time), or you were physically close to the event, that is, if the trauma happened right next to you or in front of you.
3. Certain traumas are more likely to lead to PTSD than others. For example, you are more likely to develop PTSD if the trauma you experienced was a rape/sexual assault, combat exposure, or childhood neglect/physical abuse.
4. If you develop PTSD symptoms within one month of a traumatic event, this is called acute PTSD. If you don’t develop any symptoms until at least six months after the trauma, this is called delayed onset PTSD.
5. Adults with PTSD can have other problems as well, including depression, drug and alcohol abuse, or other anxiety problems (for example, panic disorder, social anxiety).

Types Of PTSD (Least Debilitating To Most Debilitating)

There are five main types of post-traumatic stress disorder: normal stress response, acute stress disorder, uncomplicated PTSD, comorbid PTSD and complex PTSD.

Normal Stress Response

The normal stress response occurs when healthy adults who have been exposed to a single discrete traumatic event in adulthood experience intense bad memories, emotional numbing, and feelings of unreality, being cut off from relationships or bodily tension and distress. Such individuals usually achieve complete recovery within a few weeks. Often a group debriefing experience is helpful. Debriefings begin by describing the traumatic event. They then progress to exploration of survivors’ emotional responses to the event. Next, there is an open discussion of symptoms that have been precipitated by the trauma. Finally, there is education in which survivors’ responses are explained and positive ways of coping are identified.

Acute Stress disorder

Acute stress disorder is characterized by panic reactions, mental confusion, dissociation, severe insomnia, suspiciousness, and being unable to manage even basic self care, work, and relationship activities. Relatively few survivors of single traumas have this more severe reaction, except when the trauma is a lasting catastrophe that exposes them to death, destruction, or loss of home and community. Treatment includes immediate support, removal from the scene of the trauma, use of medication for immediate relief of grief, anxiety, and insomnia, and brief supportive psychotherapy provided in the context of crisis intervention.

Uncomplicated PTSD

Uncomplicated PTSD involves persistent reexperiencing of the traumatic event, avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma, emotional numbing, and symptoms of increased arousal. It may respond to group, psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioral, pharmacological, or combination approaches.

Comorbid PTSD

PTSD comorbid with other psychiatric disorders is actually much more common than uncomplicated PTSD. PTSD is usually associated with at least one other major psychiatric disorder such as depression, alcohol or substance abuse, panic disorder, and other anxiety disorders. The best results are achieved when both PTSD and the other disorder(s) are treated together rather than one after the other. This is especially true for PTSD and alcohol or substance abuse. The same treatments used for uncomplicated PTSD should be used for these patients, with the addition of carefully managed treatment for the other psychiatric or addiction problems.

Complex PTSD

Complex PTSD (sometimes called “Disorder of Extreme Stress”) is found among individuals who have been exposed to prolonged traumatic circumstances, especially during childhood, such as childhood sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional abuse. These individuals often are diagnosed with borderline or antisocial personality disorder or dissociative disorders. They exhibit behavioral difficulties (such as impulsivity, aggression, sexual acting out, eating disorders, alcohol or drug abuse, and self-destructive actions), extreme emotional difficulties (such as intense rage, depression, or panic) and mental difficulties (such as fragmented thoughts, dissociation, and amnesia). The treatment of such patients often takes much longer (years), may progress at a much slower rate, and requires a sensitive and highly structured treatment program delivered by a team of trauma specialists.

Summary

The Importance of a Strong Support System

• A strong support system (family and friends) is needed for PTSD suffers: This is absolutely necessary for recovery. Without their assistance there is no telling where the suffer would be or what in what situations will eventually be in. Without a strong support systems, people that suffer intense PTSD would most likely end up on the street, or in a hospital somewhere, or incarcerated, or dead.

Successful Recovery and Living with PTSD

• With proper counseling and medical treatment and support, it is possible (with time) to make a satisfactory recovery from PTSD: To be able to function in society with minimal apparent issues. PTSD will never magically disappear 100%. PTSD is something a person will live with for the rest of their life. Family, friends, and coworkers must understand and accept this fact about PTSD suffers.

Support of a PTSD Suffer

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a very serious mental health issue if left unattended. Any person who has witnessed a traumatic event may suffer some degree of PTSD. The most important thing to remember is NOT TO IGNORE the symptoms or degrade suffers because of the symptoms. The earlier symptoms are identified and caringly addressed, the sooner that helpful intervention and the journey to healing can take place.

Sober hugs, Guy

Payson, AZ

August 9, 2011

Good Bye Fake Friends

There is an old saying that I remember now: Fool me once shame on me but fool me twice shame on you!

Today is a very sad day for me – shame on me!

Today marks the return of 1972 when I, by choice, walked away from organized religion, after experiencing first hand just how deceitful, cold, callous, hurtful, and cruel religion of men can be. It was in 1972 that I went to the local church and sought help in my personal life to only face cold rejection and physical torment that has been my black curse the last 39 years.

In October 2005, I tried to give organized religion another chance – Shame on me!

I do not want any part of any organization that does not actually do what they preach that other people should do.

I do not want to be associated with any group of people that think they are better then others.

I do not want to common with any group of people that speak brotherly love with their lips yet forget that love is an action: Not words.

I do not want to alien with any group of people that shoot there wounded instead of reaching out to help and encourage.

1. To deceive is to lie.
2. To correct without compassion is to be vengeful.
3. To judge without knowledge is to be a hypocrite.
4. To put down and demoralize is to be callous.
5. To disobey God at the expense of another is cruel religion.
6. To gossip is murder by character assignation.
7. To assume superiority is pure arrogance.

I heard once that when times are tough you learn who your real friends are: I now know who mine are after the last 11 days.

Today, I am returning to the God that was able to do for me what I could not do for myself: The God that loved me enough to save me from an alcohol and drug induced existence.

Sober hugs to my true friends – Good bye to all fair weather friends, Guy

Please see my posts about PTSD to help understand what is going on with me at this time before you pass judgement on me.

 

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Hugs, Guy

Note: This is for real

The Lesson from John 16:33

There are two key points Jesus made in this verse.

1. Jesus taught what He did in the last days so we would know we could have true peace in Him.
2. We will face hardship even as a follower of Christ.

This hardship to which Jesus is talking about is not your everyday trouble such as job, relationship, peers, etc… the hardship to which Jesus speaks to here is real anguish, distress, tribulation, or persecution and comes from the Greek word “Thlipsis” (2347) It is a kin to the afflictions like Christ had to endure.

So Jesus is saying simply and clearly that each of us will face a time in our lives when our faith will experience some real distress beyond anything we could ever imagine or think would ever happening to us.

Jesus says when that time happens, we can know and find real peace in Him.

The peace, which Jesus is talking about, is the tranquility found only in the assurance of a salvation of the soul.

Jesus told us that that was why He had taught us the things he had been teaching in the last days. All we have to do is go back to chapter 14, 15 and 16 of John and see what these teachings of hope are.

Let us see what a few of those teachings are that help a Christian have tranquility in Jesus:

John 14:1-3 (Jesus will come and take us to Heaven)

John 14:15-17 (Will send the Holy Spirit)

John 15:1-11 (Bear fruit – stay in the vine)

John 15:14-17 (Friend of Jesus – Love each other)

John 16:16 (Jesus came back from the grave and over came death)

John 16:27 (God loves us because we love Jesus)

Guy Lewis

Payson, Arizona: May 9, 2011

Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome

I went to a civilian podiatrist today and went through a two-hour compressive examination of my feet and ankles. The doctor believes that what is wrong with my feet and ankles is something called “Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome” and cannot rule out that this condition might have been caused when I severely twisted and sprained both of my ankles in Sicily in 1986.

The doctor believes that this condition is what is causing the swelling, pain, broken blood vessels and fallen arches in both of my ankles. The doctor believes the VA has unknowingly been mistreating my ankle condition for many years now, which has prolonged the pain, and condition. I have a follow-up appointment set for next Thursday to determine if surgery would repair the damage already done to both ankles.

Tarsal tunnel syndrome (TTS) refers to an entrapment of the posterior tibial nerve as it descends from the leg to the foot. This condition is extremely painful. The terminal aspect of the posterior tibia nerve (L4-S1 nerve distribution) supplies the motor function to the muscles of the foot and the sensory innervation to the bottom of the foot. Varying degrees of entrapment of this nerve may affect either motor function, sensory function or both.

The recovery period for tarsal tunnel surgery is from 3 months to 18 months.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Insignificant “Forsaken – Rejected – Discarded”

Insignificant “Forsaken – Rejected – Discarded”

1. 1.   What was I thinking last night?
2. 2.   Why did I think they would listen to me when people (just like them) would not listen when a man came back from the dead 1,979 years ago?
3. 3.   Why did I think they would remove the cotton from their ears and hear the “TRUTH” about the “LIES” they blindly believed in years past?
4. 4.   Why did I throw pearls to swine?

I woke this morning feeling very abandoned: Abandoned.

The study that took me ten months of meticulous sweat was completely and unreservedly rejected and called “legalistic” by “Modern Day Pharisees” when in reality it was the complete opposite of legalism: Biblical Truth.

Before sleep over took me last night, I revisited the past ten-month research, looking for any mistake, which corrupted the study: I found none. The conclusions exposed within the study are true: The New Testament is not a Law Book. I did not make a mistake in my edifying endeavor. The evidence is not refutable: Prima-Fascia.

But was I honestly the one rejected by the self-proclaimed pious? – Not at all! The truth was rejected. The biblical evidence was rejected.

Rejected without an independent – self-conducted (honest) study of my findings by the self-proclaimed pious.

Biblical Truth – Rejected for a man-made (untouchable) traditional policy of “Command, Example, and Necessary Inference (CENI)” which tradition and time have elevated to untouchable: Even when contextual biblical evidence clearly shows the flaws of CENI reasoning.

Why was the study discarded? Here are a few clues. 

1. 1.   Traditions viewed as untouchable (Higher then biblical truth)
2. 2.   Acceptance of prior man’s teachings as untouchable (Trust in people not in God)
3. 3.   Minds “self” convinced of PERECTLY knowing ALL (Pharisees’ Thinking)
4. 4.   Perpetual belief that God and Christ and the church are only true within “finite neat little boxes” made by FLAWED finite minds.
5. 5.   Emotional reasoning having precedent over biblical context that refutes such reasoning.
6. 6.   Forcing God’s “Spiritual Reality” into mankind’s “Limiting Physical Restraints” without searching the scriptures to discover truth.

Why did I think they would listen to me when they rejected the author of the truth already?

Thursday, April 21, 2011, Payson, AZ

Tilted Halo: Finite not Infinite Rigorous Honesty

Tilted Halo: Finite not Infinite Rigorous Honesty

Good morning world of Blog readers. “We Humans” seem to always put everything into little boxes. Life has taught me that God is not a box person. Life has shown me that God is way to large in my life to fit into any box made by human minds (yours or mine).

When I became a True Christian (seeking to learn God’s Will and not human interpretations), a friend told me in a private chat at the local church building, that the devil wants everyone that God has and the devil will do everything in his power to get the people that God has. He told me that the devil would use every part of my life that I am weakest in as he tries to pull me away from God. This is where I have learned (came to understand) what faith really means. Faith is not the direct opposite of fear: Faith is the opposite of doubt. Faith does not mean 100% trust: Faith is confidence! Confidence that God will always keep His word and always show me the next right thing to do.

I have spent the last 21+ years of my life following the “next indicated” path (the next RIGHT thing) that God was leading down in life (even though I did not know that He was leading me by His Spirit). I hardly ever understood where the path was leading me or why, but I always had confidence that the path was a better path for me to walk then the rocky, un-mapped, ancient trail of the prior 33+ years.

God showed me, first and continually through AA that rigorous honesty is the path He wanted me to walk in my life and to not fear evaluating myself daily to see all areas where I have been dishonest to Him, others, and myself. One lesson that was so deeply hard for me to learn in life is that “NO” other person ever poured the alcohol or dropped the drugs down my throat. It was always my choice to do this as an escape from my human realities. No other person forces me to walk against God’s Will. Only my ego, fears, desires, and selfishness forces me to do what I do not want to do and walk where I know I should not walk.

Now rigorous honesty is a very hard path for us humans to walk in life because of our peers, our ego’s, our emotions, and our past life training and experiences. However, rigorous honesty is possible for us finite humans with God’s infinite help.

I am here, always, to encourage and support everyone that has the courage to seek truth and daily evaluate where they have allowed their finite will to supersede God’s infinite Will.

I will share this with you who will read my limited continuous understanding of God’s Will and anyone with the courage to heed; the path of rigorous honesty is not easy but the rewards are unlimited. No I am not perfect at rigorous honesty – no human is.

One thing I have learned over the collective last 54+ years is that, “Rigorous honesty without compassion is actually brutality” and not “TRUE” love at all.

Hugs and love always, Guy

Payson, Arizona, April 16, 2011